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Girlfriend can't orgasm

When we are having intercourse, she can't orgasm.

My girlfriend and I have sex regularly. When I rub her clitoris she can have an orgasm, whether I use my tongue or my fingers. But when we are having intercourse, she can't orgasm. She's upset about it and embarassed. What can I do?

Your girlfriend actually is similar to most girls / women. Most girls / women do not have orgasms from penis-in-vagina intercourse alone. Just like your girlfriend, many girls can only have an orgasm with direct stimulation of their clitoris - either with their fingers, or with their partner's fingers or tongue etc. So often the best way for a girl to have an orgasm with her partner is through touching or oral sex.

However, there are ways to make it more likely that your girlfriend will have an orgasm during intercourse. For example;

  • She or you can touch her clitoris during intercourse. You can do this when having intercourse in a range of positions.
  • If you lie on your back, and she sits or lies on you with her legs apart, she can get more stimulation of her clitoris by rubbing herself on you during intercourse. Her leaning forward may help.
  • If she is on her back and you are lying on her with your legs between her legs, you can shift your body a few inches forward towards her head. Some people say this gives the woman more stimulation of her clitoris.

Some women find that different positions for intercourse stimulate different parts of their vagina, as the penis rubs or pushes against different parts of their vagina.

Be sensitive to your girlfriend's feelings. What you've described is really normal. It may just be that she is one of the many girls who cannot have an orgasm during intercourse. Orgasms are a nice part of sex, and it sounds like she's got no problem having them. But some women never or only rarely have them during intercourse.

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