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Pleasing your girlfriend

I would like some tips for how to please my girlfriend in every way possible.

I'm a guy with a girlfriend. We've been intimate for a few months now. I would like some tips for how to please my girlfriend in every way possible.

It's great that you're keen to please your girlfriend. Good sex depends on at least three things: mutual pleasure, safety, and consent.

First, good sex means that both partners are into giving pleasure to each other, just like you are. Second, good sex depends on both people not feeling pressured or forced into sex, but wanting it and feeling in control of their choices. Third, good sex depends on safety. Good sex is less likely if either of you are worrying about pregnancy and diseases, or if you actually get or give an infection or get the girl/woman pregnant.

So the first steps in taking care of your sex life are to make sure that the sex is mutually pleasurable, consenting, and safe.

So how can you please your girlfriend? I've got three tips.

(1) Ask her what she'd like to do, what feels good, what she likes, and what she doesn't like. Talk to her, and listen to what she says. (And of course, talk about what you'd like to do too.)

The guys who are 'good lovers' are not necessarily the guys with the best bodies or the biggest dicks. They are the guys who are good at sharing, communicating, building intimacy, and creating pleasure for their partners and themselves. The best lover communicates with his partner, shares his feelings and listens to hers, learns how she likes to be touched and what she doesn't like, and shares what he likes and doesn't like.

(2) Do the things that will give her the most pleasure and enjoyment. For example, many women don't have orgasms from intercourse. Most women are much more likely to have orgasms from having their clitorises licked, kissed or touched, and they'll only have orgasms during intercourse if they're also getting extra stimulation or giving it to themselves.

Women may be 'turned on' by lots of kissing, sensual touching and caressing, as well as by being masturbated or oral-sexed or doing these things to their partner. Yes, intercourse is great, but it's not the only way, and it may not be the best way, for both people to have orgasms and full sexual pleasure.

(3) Try things. Experiment with touching, kissing or licking your partner in different ways. Have fun. And check out good books on having sex. Some relevant books are;

  • Guide to getting it on, by Paul Joannides (Goofy Foot Press, USA, 2000).
  • K.I.S.S. Guide to sex, by Annie Hooper (Dorling Kindersley, Australia, 2000).
  • Sexwise, by Janet Hall (Random House, Australia, 2000).
  • Hot sex, by Tracey Cox (Bantam, Australia, 1998).

You can find all these titles for sale online.

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