Having anal sex?
There are many different ways to have anal sex.
- touching or massaging the other person's anus with your fingers.
This can include gently pressing on the outside of the anus, squeezing the person's bum cheeks, or gently putting a finger inside their anus.
Some people enjoy having their anus stimulated while they are having penis-in-vagina intercourse.
Some people prefer that your finger (or penis) just stays still inside their anus, rather than thrusting in and out. Other people prefer that your finger (or penis) move gently around and round or in and out.
- having anal intercourse, where the man's penis is inside his partner's anus.
- kissing and licking the person's anus.
Before doing any kind of anal sex, make sure that you and your partner have discussed and agreed upon it. Never pressure someone or let someone pressure you into having anal sex.
There are three areas to be aware of here: (1) relaxation and pleasure, (2) preventing infection, and (3) preventing pregnancy.
(1) Relaxation and pleasure
Make sure you are slow and gentle when doing any kind of anal stimulation.
If you are going to have anal intercourse (penis-in-anus sex), you must make sure that the anus is relaxed enough for a penis to enter it. One way to do this is for the male partner to put lots of lube on a finger and gently put it inside his partner's bum, pushing very slowly and softly. He should use lubrication (such as KY Jelly or Wetstuff) and be very gentle. He should make sure that the other person feels comfortable with this penetration by his finger. To make sure that the anus will be relaxed enough to allow a penis to enter it, the male partner should do this maybe every night for a week. These exercises teach the anus to relax. Both people should feel comfortable with penetration by a finger before they go onto to try anal intercourse.
Go slowly. And if it's not comfortable, then stop! Remember too that whatever you are putting inside the anus (a finger, a penis, or something else), it needs to go in very slowly and come out very slowly. Otherwise, discomfort and even physical damage can occur. There are two reasons why it's important to use lots of lubrication when doing anything involving the anus. First, while a woman's vagina produces its own lubrication when she is sexually aroused, a woman's or man's anus does not. Second, the tissue of the anus is very fragile, much more fragile than the tissue of the vagina. Without lubrication, there may be pain, discomfort, and possibly tearing of the tissue in the anus. So use lube!
(2) Preventing infection
It is a very good idea to wear a condom during anal intercourse. Anal intercourse is a very effective way to transmit a sexually transmitted infection (STI), including HIV/AIDS. Wearing a condom prevents infection with an STI or HIV/AIDS.
If a man and a woman have anal intercourse, they should never put the man's penis into the woman's vagina after it has been in the anus without changing the condom (take the old one off and put on a clean one) or washing the penis with soap and water first. The anus has bacteria inside, which can cause vaginal infections in women.
For the same reason, do not put your fingers or a sex toy (a dildo or vibrator) into your vagina or the woman's vagina after they have been in your or the other person's anus. To avoid infecting the vagina, you can (1) use different fingers to touch the vagina from the ones used in the anus, or (2) wash your fingers with soap and water after they have touched the anus, or (3) use a latex glove when touching the anus, and then remove this glove before touching the vagina.
If you are kissing and licking the person's anus, you risk getting an infection by getting faeces (shit) in your mouth. So it is best to use a dental dam (a small square of latex) to cover the person's anus, and kissing or licking them through the latex. If you do not have a dental dam, cut a condom lengthwise and hold it over the person's anus.
If you are using a sex toy (a dildo or vibrator) inside the anus, then (1) wash it with soap and water before using it to touch the vagina, or (2) use it with a condom on it, and take the condom off before using the sex toy to touch the vagina, or (3) use different sex toys for the anus and the vagina.
(3) Preventing pregnancy
It is possible to get pregnant through anal sex if semen (cum) drips out of the anus into the opening of the vagina, which is near the anus. So that's another good reason to use a condom during anal sex.